The Day I Wasted 2 Hours Watching This Film.

The original plan was to see The Reader but since it's only showing in 2 theaters in ALL of Manhattan, it was sold out and since I was already at the theaters and too lazy to walk back home I decided to see the movie with the next closest time which happened to be The Day the Earth Stood Still. I might or might not have been better off walking home.

I haven't seen the 1951 original, but I've heard really great things. Unfortunately, TDTESS version 2008 is nothing worth talking about. Alien Klaatu (Keanu Reeves) and his indestructible alien robot Gort come to Earth (to protect it from being destroyed by us humans) where Klaatu meets and befriends Dr. Helen Benson (Jennifer Connelly) and her stepson (Jaden Smith).

To its credit, the special effects and graphics in this film were amazing, which is pretty much what drew me to the film in the first place. Watching trucks, buildings and even Giant Stadium get ripped apart was way more fun than I thought it was going to be.

Unfortunately the dialogue was completely lame. Which is kind of what I expected given that they couldn't even find 10 seconds of decent dialogue in the film to put into the trailer. "If the Earth dies, you die...if you die, the Earth survives." Um right. The film was like the battle of the cliches. Who can say the most generic, sappy lines in 2 hours?! Also, Klaatu is supposed to be the humanity of Benson and her kid is what supposedly changes his mind about destroying the planet at the end, but I didn't see progression of that occurring at all. I'm still puzzled as to exactly what profound activities Benson and her kid did to save Earth. It was just suddenly..."oh I get it now. You humans are cool." And I'm left having no idea how that even happened.

I suppose this was the perfect role for Keanu Reeves who has pretty much played the expressionless drone in every role since Bill and Ted. Nothing I can really say about Jennifer Connelly either since her part pretty much just consisted of a lot of frightened running around and giving us the wide-eyed "wtf is going on??" eyes every 30 seconds or so. Always great eye candy though. Jaden Smith was adorable but so so annoying. I blame movies like this for stunting my maternal extincts (and also the fact that I'm not yet 22). Children who play huge brats in movies make me just not want to have kids ever.

Ultimately, I think this movie might have been awesome if it was just shrunk down to 30 mins of the craziest visual effect moments and scored to some great music minus all dialogue. Though what I just described pretty much just sounds like a long music video. Oh well.

Feel like a 'Millionaire.'

Director Danny Boyle is entirely unpredictable. He's done the disturbing, horrific and downright scary with Trainspotting, 28 Days Later and Sunshine. He's gone the romantic dramedy route with A Life Less Ordinary. And now he seems to be tapping into some warm fuzzies with heartwarm-ers like Millions and Slumdog Millionaire, and the latter might be the year's ultimate feel-good film.

Boyle's latest film centers around an Indian teen from the slums (aka slumdog), Jamal Malik (Dev Patel), who becomes a contestant on the Hindi version of "Who Wants to be A Millionaire?" He is one question away from winning the 20 million rupee grand prize when he is arrested under suspicion of cheating. In an attempt to clear his name, Malik recounts the experiences in his life that explain why he knows the answers to all the questions. With each flashback, his true intention for going on the show is revealed...to find the love of his life.

So they're all different genres, but one thing that all Danny Boyle films share are their graphic and brutally honest images (it's possible that the baby scene in Trainspotting still haunts my dreams). Slumdog Millionaire is no exception. Although a simple love story at its core, 'Slumdog' is a vivid trip through the heart of "real" India. There is no glorifying the poverty, misery and disgustingly downtrodden conditions of the slums where Malik and his older brother, Salim, grow up. All complaints I have ever had about my childhood seemed...seem irrelevant. I have never felt so lucky in my life just sitting in a movie theater...it suddenly seemed like heaven compared to what I was viewing onscreen.

What moved me was that this isn't just a story about two people who are kept apart by a few little mishaps and misunderstandings. These are two people kept apart for over a decade by obstacles presented by a society that allows few people to ever feel safe and secure...by a neglected and rundown country and the manipulative, cruel and greedy people who control it. What they have to overcome to just find each other is what makes the story so incredible.

I know Bollywood cranks out more films than any other industry in the world, but I still don't know very many Indian actors. I think I may need to start. Of course it might also help to be able to pronounce some of these names. Ayush Mahesh Khedekar and Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail who play Jamal and Salim Malik as little kids, respectively, were brilliant and totally adorable. Dev Patel plays the older Jamal on "Who Wants to be A Millionaire" and makes the perfect protagonist and underdog. He is slightly awkward but naive, sweet and witty. Jamal's love interest, Latika, is played by Indian model Freida Pinto who is absolutely gorgeous, but actually doesn't have that large of a part in the film.

Basically 'Slumdog' epitomizes the reason why I love going to the movies. You know that saying about how the journey is more important than the destination? Nothing could be more true when viewing this film. Although centered around "Who Wants to be A Millionaire," I really could have cared less at the end whether or not Malik correctly answered the 20 million rupee question. I know there are people out there who gag upon hearing this is a love story (I would normally be one of them), but it's a love story that successfully weaves in themes of family, trust, betrayal, redemption, destiny, courage and spirit. Even if you overlook all the potential cheesy moments of the film, you can't overlook the horrific beauty (oxymoron?) of a landscape depicted with such intensity and attention to detail without being patronizing. It's a world that we see too infrequently. Not to mention, the film features a great soundtrack (I'm a big MIA fan).

If you don't come out of this film feeling enthralled or inspired or uplifted or some combination of all these emotions, then what can I say? You have a cold, hard rock for a heart.

Help yourself to a tall glass of 'Milk.'

Now that I'm completely stuffed with enough turkey and potato salad to feed a small country, it's back to the movies...or as much as I can write before the food coma sets in.

First off, I apologize for the title of the post but I was too lazy to think of anything less cheesy. Secondly, I recall posting a few entries ago about how there are certain directors whom one can safely namedrop around film students without falling victim to judgment and Gus van Sant was one such director. His newest film 'Milk' is further proof as to exactly why this man is considered a moviemaking genius.

'Milk' is one of those films that manages to be powerful and emotional without seeming preachy or heavy-handed. One that manages to bring a smile to your face, a chuckle to your lips but also tears to your eyes. It is a film that is still so socially and politically relevant today that I had almost wished it had been released just a little bit sooner. It is a film that inspires and enlightens and moves you so deeply that the minute it ends you wish you had the time to just sit in the theater and wait for it to start all over again. It is a film that exceeded my already high expectations and it's been too long since a film has done just that.

Based on a true story, 'Milk' recounts the personal and political life of Harvey Milk (Sean Penn), from his struggle to become California's first openly gay elected official during the tumultuous times of the 1970s to his assassination by San Francisco Supervisor Dan White (Josh Brolin). Van Sant adds real archived footage from the time period throughout his film which not only serves to make the whole experience more realistic but also shows us that he's not exaggerating some of these characters...not shoving caricatures of people down our throats. Anti-gay activist Anita Bryant, for example, was portrayed entirely through archived footage.

This film has Oscar contender written all over it, and I have no doubt Sean Penn will be nominated. Of course never having known the real Harvey Milk, I can't say if Penn's portrayal of him is accurate, but I can say that his portrayal of a man struggling to find his voice and give one to a group of people desperately searching for a leader is flawless. He is not just a gay man facing a homophobic society but a man discovering his purpose in life at 45-years-old and risking everything to pursue it. Not to mention...I don't think I've seen Penn smile so much in a role since Fast Times at Ridgemont High which was what...25 years ago??

James Franco gives an admirable performance as Scottie Smith (probably his best in a dramatic role), Milk's lover during the early 1970s. Though any impressive acting was generally overshadowed by all the making-out he had to do with Sean Penn which one could consider to be more impressive. I also appreciated Van Sant and Josh Brolin's efforts to portray San Francisco Supervisor Dan White as a complex individual plagued by self-doubt and insecurities and not just a homophobic psychopath. It is very clear in 'Milk' that White's motivation for killing Milk (and Mayor Boscome played by Victor Garber) was the loss of his position and respect among his peers and not because of any real homophobic feelings. My favorite character, however, had to be Emile Hirsch's Cleve Jones, hustler turned gay activist, who worked alongside Milk for years. His sassy quips, witty remarks, and overall general attitude of childish naivete and excitement mixed with the jaded world view of someone who has had to grow up way too fast was absolutely adorable and completely lovable (not to mention he has the most amazingly funky dance moves).

A large part of the film deals with Milk's struggle to repeal California's Proposition 6 in 1978 which would've banned any homosexual and anyone who supported gay rights from working in CA public schools. I wish this film had been released a few weeks ago before the passing of CA's Prop 8. It is hard for me to imagine anyone watching this film and voting yes to Prop 8. It is hard for me to imagine anyone watching this film and not being inspired by this story. Not being filled with hope.

This wasn't merely a story about gay rights but human rights. It is something people of all ethnicities, races, genders and sexual orientations can enjoy and be inspired by. I know that when the photographs of the real Harvey Milk and his "crew" flashed across the screen before the credits...I couldn't help but wonder...where have all the good men gone?

Lighten up James.

So I'm aware that the point of reviewing a film is to do so before everyone on the planet watches it, but I didn't get a chance to see Quantum of Solace opening weekend as I had hoped so maybe some of you haven't watched it yet either (yes, i'm talking to all you Twilight-ers), and this post will still be relevant.

Hm so...I have to give the highly-anticipated 22nd Bond film an A for action but a D for missing the mark on what makes the 007 franchise so great. As in...a D for major disappointment. Then again, this tends to happen when I go into films with high expectations.

To start with the positive, this movie was definitely an hour and 40 mins (shortest Bond film to date btw) of pure adrenaline rush. Bond managed to do battle while operating every kind of vehicle possible...cars, boats, planes with explosions occurring around him every 30 seconds or so. I barely had a moment to catch my breath between action sequences. The hand-to-hand combat scenes were some of the longest I've ever witnessed on film and for some reason involved a serious amount of throwing people into and through all things glass. But as exhilarating and sensational as the action and special effects were, they didn't leave much room for a plot. Or even dialogue for that matter. Which is fairly surprising coming from such a plot-driven director like Mark Forster (Monster's Ball, Finding Neverland, Stranger than Fiction) or a writer like Paul Haggis (Crash, Million Dollar Baby, Flags of Our Fathers and of course Casino Royale).

The first 007 film to start exactly where the previous film left off, James Bond is trying to find the organization responsible for the death of his love Vesper (Eva Green) and well...kill them all. His efforts lead him to ruthless businessman Dominic Greene (Mathieu Amalric), a major player in this mysterious organization, whose villainous activity consists of trying to gain control of an entire country's water supply. Needless to say, it's up to Bond to stop him, but instead of the usual capture and questioning...Bond pretty much just kills everyone. And at the end of the film we still know virtually nothing about this organization other than the fact that they're called 'Quantum'. I found this to be a bit irritating. Then again...maybe I just have to wait til the next installment to get the big picture.

I don't care what anyone says though, Daniel Craig is one sexy man. A little leaner this time around but still looking pretty damn hot. While I adored Daniel Craig's hard-ass, rough-around-the-edges but still playful Bond in Casino Royale, I think they took the character a little too far to the dark place for this film. The suave and smooth Bond who never loses his cool, who delivers witty one-liners and double entendres and generally radiates confidence and control was totally buried by this angst-ridden, deadly serious, grim Bond out for vengeance. (I mean one of my favorite scenes from Casino Royale was the banter between Bond and Vesper when they first meet on the train, but there was none of that this time around.) Call me cheesy but as a diehard James Bond fan, I needed just a little more of the elements that were quintessential Bond to elevate this film beyond just another action flick.

So there were no catchphrases, shaken martinis or cool gadgets, but at least the Bond girl remained true to form. Olga Kurylenko was born to play a Bond girl. Although 007 unconventionally never nails her (sorry guys), she was just walking talking pure sex. Not sure what else there is to say beyond that since we all know no one really cares about her acting abilities. Judi Dench was business as usual as M, and Mathieu Amalric made an ok villain I suppose though I found his fight scene with Bond to be mildly awkward for some reason. Maybe it's the mismatch in sizes (Amalric is little!). A quirky cute Gemma Arterton provided a little playfulness to the film but her bit was over before it even began.

Overall, I expected something a bit smarter, a bit more stylish but all I got was just an endless chain of explosions. Instead of creating a Bond film that could stand in its own right, Forster's Quantum of Solace merely felt like an extension of Casino Royale. The film felt like a stepping stone, something that sets up Bond for potential future greatness but has fallen short in achieving anything on its own. Somehow, this Bond film has managed to end up as just another action flick with nothing to offer to the franchise.

Next time around, it might be helpful to be reminded just once that our hero is...Bond, James Bond.

A Model Comedy.

Role Models is quite possibly the funniest movie I've seen since I started this blog (which might not be saying much). While I enjoyed Zack and Miri, the problem I had with it (and all romantic comedies in general) is that the entire plot revolves around two people discovering they're madly in love but for some reason can't be together until the end of two hours of annoying antics. The writing prowess of Kevin Smith and the ever eloquent Seth Rogen is ultimately what saved Zack and Miri from becoming a total waste of two hours. But the much funnier comedies are the ones like Role Models that include a romantic element but are essentially about something else entirely. Then again, maybe I'm just biased because I want to marry Paul Rudd and have lots and lots of his babies all while laughing hysterically at everything he says the entire time.

Director David Wain (Wet Hot American Summer, The Ten) once again teams up with Paul Rudd (who also co-wrote the screenplay) to deliver this comedy about two energy drink reps who get sentenced to 150 hours of community service at a mentoring program. Of course chaos ensues as bitter and depressed Danny (Rudd) does NOT want to cooperate and irresponsible womanizing Wheeler (Seann William Scott) is way too much of a child himself to be mentoring one.

Normally, kiddie films are pretty lame since the funniest moment usually involves an uncooperative child kicking someone in the balls. But while this film does have its share of physical humor, the real laugh-out-loud moments is the dialogue. While Zack and Miri rely on the shock value of dirty humor and the outright filthy, Role Models is much dryer, much wittier and more sarcastic - courtesy of the impeccable comedic timing of the actors.

Like I said, I have been in love with Paul Rudd since Clueless and he wasn't even that funny in it. And I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that every film he's been in has been made instantly funnier by his presence (sex panther? man o'lantern? yea I could probably continue but people at work are starting to wonder why I'm sitting here and just laughing to myself). Of course Rudd doesn't do it alone. After some misses in movies like The Rundown and Southland Tales and Mr. Woodcock, I was happy to see the return of Stifler, the role that put Seann William Scott on the map in the first place. Playing a sweeter (and buff-er) version of Stifler from the American Pie movies, Scott delivers some of the film's funniest lines including my favorite which taken out of context would make no sense at all so I'm not going to write it here but will tell you that it puts the words "butt-fuck" and "kids" in the same sentence. Christopher Mintz-Plasse of Superbad fame was appropriately awkward as Danny's mentee Augie Farks, but I'm still obsessed with him as McLovin and I don't see that changing anytime soon. It was 12-year-old Bobb'e J. Thompson who stole the film, however, playing Wheeler's hyperactive foul-mouthed smartass booby-watching 10-year-old little, Ronnie. Every line out of his mouth was pure genius, a credit to the writers for sure but also to Thompson for pulling them off so hilariously. Is it creepy that I want this little kid to be my new bff? Also at this point, I would like to point out that this is my THIRD Elizabeth Banks post in a row. WTF. I swear Hollywood has decided to just crank out tutorials on the various ways to get into Elizabeth Banks's pants.

All that being said, I think this film could've been funnier if the trailers didn't give away so many of the funny moments. Then again, unlike most comedies, I think Role Models definitely has more to offer beyond the one-liners delivered in the trailer.

Hm anyone else so ready for something besides comedies?! And by that I mean three words: Quantum. Of. Solace.

Zack and Miri Make...me want to make a porno.

Now that the election is over, what in the world is everyone going to talk about? Well, for starters, someone please explain to me why High School Musical has managed to top the box office again for the 2nd week running...beating out Kevin Smith's newest comedy - Zack and Miri Make A Porno. I mean...combining the comedic geniuses of Kevin Smith and Seth Rogen with an incredibly hot Elizabeth Banks and PORNOGRAPHY should be box office gold...no? What is happening to this world when a group of singing high schoolers is the most highly anticipated movie of the year? (if anyone actually read this thing, the shock and horror of what I just said would probably make them just stop reading past this point.)

I'm not saying I'm totally enamored with everything Kevin Smith does (Jersey Girl anyone?), but Chasing Amy and Dogma and the first 3 mins of Jay and Silent Bob definitely rank among some of my top favorite movie moments. Plus Smith's hometown is a 10 min. drive from my hometown. (Yes, I'm from Jersey. Don't judge.) That being said, only Kevin Smith is able to make a movie about making a porno...romantic.

So I think the title of the film does a pretty good job of summing up what it's about but incase further explanation is required...Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks play titular characters Zack and Miri who find themselves in desperate need of some cash and decide that making a porno would be the best way to make some. As these movies generally go, turns out it's much easier said than done. And of course there are all these unrealized feelings that begin to surface when two lifelong friends finally decide to do the dirty.

So because it's Seth Rogen, the Judd Apatow comparisons are going to come. I have to say that for all the less than PG moments Apatow manages to conjure up, his films generally give off a innocent vibe. Smith's films are just downright filthy. Not to mention that I don't think I have heard the word "fuck" that many times in one sitting since well...ever. Both Apatow and Smith, however, are able to deliver absolutely hilarious films and Zack and Miri is no exception. But because this is essentially a romantic comedy, it had it's fair share of awkward scenes as well. Some may call them sweet...I found they had very little place in a Kevin Smith film, and I was glad they were few and far between.

Surprising enough, Rogen and Banks had more chemistry than I thought a fat hairy guy and a totally hot chick would have on screen. Then again, I find it very difficult not to love any character Rogen plays. I'm just waiting for the day that someone tries to cast him as this evil, maniacal villain. My guess is that it would fail miserably, but who knows. And Elizabeth Banks is adorable and spunky as always. Though I'm pretty sure the Scarlett effect is going to take hold soon and I'm just going to get sick of her since she's in every friggin movie coming out in the next couple months and this is furthered evidenced by the fact that I'm blogging about her two posts in a row.

Kevin Smith's butt buddy Jason Mewes also appears in the film as one of the porno actors. Let's just say... the guy looks good. Anddd if anyone ever wondered what Jay's penis looks like...this is a great opportunity to find out. Hm...Justin Long makes a cameo as a gay porn star which might or might not have been one of the highlights of the film and Brandon Routh makes a cameo as his gay lover. Which I found slightly awkward cause well...he's Superman. (I mean...has the guy been in anything else?!)

Overall, Kevin Smith managed to deliver a movie that had me laughing for a good 2 hours (then again, I'm easily amused so don't blame me if the same does not occur for you), and those 2 hours definitely flew by. Unfortunately, I have to say that compared to some of his previous films, this one was a little too formulaic for me. A little too mushy in parts. And pretty predictable. Then again maybe not so predictable when the moral of story is...make a porno and all your dreams will come true. So if you're choosing between this film or those damn smiling prancing high schoolers, I would say go with this one. At the very least, you'll learn some new ways to jack yourself (or someone else) off.

P.S. I thought this appropriate given the nature and timing of this post.

dubya flubya.

Sooo this post is coming a week late, but I've been busy (and by busy I mean waking up after noon, catching up on tv shows and eating all the time). Anyway, I may or may not get yelled at for saying this, but Oliver Stone is getting senile. For all the controversy generated by his recent choice of film topics, his films are becoming relatively...soft. tame. dull (for lack of better words). I look back on classics like Wall Street, Born of the Fourth of July and (my favorite) Natural Born Killers, and I can't believe it's the same director who did Alexander, World Trade Center and now...W. Then again, I haven't seen JFK or Nixon so I don't know how Stone has tackled presidents in the past. Therefore, it's quite possible I have no idea what I'm talking about. Feel free to read on anyway.

This is the first time a film has been made about a president still in office and it has some people's panties all in a twist (and by some people I mean conservatives of course) since it doesn't depict the president in a particularly good light. I have no idea what the problem is though cause it doesn't seem like Stone depicts W. in a particularly bad light either. The film focuses primarily on the events surrounding the Iraq War with flashbacks piecing together Bush Jr.'s younger years from the boozing and the partying to the Laura wooing days and his first foray into politics.

So I'm not gonna lie, but I thought the film was going to end like 5 scenes before it actually did and maybe...it should have. I couldn't tell what Stone was trying to do. When I first viewed the trailer and promotional material, I thought this was going to be a satirical, funny and overall negative look at W's presidency (and judging by the outroar from the right, I'd say I wasn't alone on this one). The brief funny moments in the film weren't so much a critique by Stone, but just a reenactment of actual events. There are a few funny and ridiculous moments, but they're things Pres Bush has actually said or done. No exaggeration or satire here.

Like I said before, conservatives/Republicans/McCain camp really don't have to worry about this film at all impacting the election. Stone managed to do something I never thought possible (especially from someone who works out of a neighborhood as liberal as Hollywood) and that is make me sympathize for poor Bush Jr. He comes off like a boy desperately seeking his father's approval, doing what he believes to be best for the country, but being manipulated by his cabinet into making mistakes. His only flaw is that he's too dumb and goofy to realize what is actually happening and how to make it work. Yes, I know there are plenty of people out there who believe this is really the case, but I personally hate to believe that the people of this country managed to elect someone so sad and pathetic and naive into the most powerful position of authority in this country. I have to believe he is a little more calculating. A little more manipulative. And generally more aware of the consequences of his actions than he was made out to be. But who knows. Maybe Stone got it right.

While I did appreciate the palpable tension Stone created between Bush Jr. and Sr., nothing else about this film resonated with me. Not even the acting chops of Josh Brolin and James Cromwell could save it for me. Brolin did show an uncanny resemblance to Bush Jr. in speech, mannerisms and overall demeanor, but so does Will Farrell on SNL so who knows what that means (since Will Farrell generally annoys the shit out of me in any film). Props to Thandie Newton for maintaining a pinched facial expression throughout the entire film in an attempt to pass for Condie (that could not have been easy). But Elizabeth Banks as Laura Bush?? Um...what? Words cannot describe how this did not work so I'm going to have to rely on pictures for this one. I mean they made Bush grey and wrinkly, couldn't they do the same to Liz? Maybe they were relying on the eye candy for viewers. Who knows.


Anyway, for all the hype surrounding this one, I was expecting more. This film was a definite letdown. Then again, the same might be said for the presidency it was based on.