Zack and Miri Make...me want to make a porno.

Now that the election is over, what in the world is everyone going to talk about? Well, for starters, someone please explain to me why High School Musical has managed to top the box office again for the 2nd week running...beating out Kevin Smith's newest comedy - Zack and Miri Make A Porno. I mean...combining the comedic geniuses of Kevin Smith and Seth Rogen with an incredibly hot Elizabeth Banks and PORNOGRAPHY should be box office gold...no? What is happening to this world when a group of singing high schoolers is the most highly anticipated movie of the year? (if anyone actually read this thing, the shock and horror of what I just said would probably make them just stop reading past this point.)

I'm not saying I'm totally enamored with everything Kevin Smith does (Jersey Girl anyone?), but Chasing Amy and Dogma and the first 3 mins of Jay and Silent Bob definitely rank among some of my top favorite movie moments. Plus Smith's hometown is a 10 min. drive from my hometown. (Yes, I'm from Jersey. Don't judge.) That being said, only Kevin Smith is able to make a movie about making a porno...romantic.

So I think the title of the film does a pretty good job of summing up what it's about but incase further explanation is required...Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks play titular characters Zack and Miri who find themselves in desperate need of some cash and decide that making a porno would be the best way to make some. As these movies generally go, turns out it's much easier said than done. And of course there are all these unrealized feelings that begin to surface when two lifelong friends finally decide to do the dirty.

So because it's Seth Rogen, the Judd Apatow comparisons are going to come. I have to say that for all the less than PG moments Apatow manages to conjure up, his films generally give off a innocent vibe. Smith's films are just downright filthy. Not to mention that I don't think I have heard the word "fuck" that many times in one sitting since well...ever. Both Apatow and Smith, however, are able to deliver absolutely hilarious films and Zack and Miri is no exception. But because this is essentially a romantic comedy, it had it's fair share of awkward scenes as well. Some may call them sweet...I found they had very little place in a Kevin Smith film, and I was glad they were few and far between.

Surprising enough, Rogen and Banks had more chemistry than I thought a fat hairy guy and a totally hot chick would have on screen. Then again, I find it very difficult not to love any character Rogen plays. I'm just waiting for the day that someone tries to cast him as this evil, maniacal villain. My guess is that it would fail miserably, but who knows. And Elizabeth Banks is adorable and spunky as always. Though I'm pretty sure the Scarlett effect is going to take hold soon and I'm just going to get sick of her since she's in every friggin movie coming out in the next couple months and this is furthered evidenced by the fact that I'm blogging about her two posts in a row.

Kevin Smith's butt buddy Jason Mewes also appears in the film as one of the porno actors. Let's just say... the guy looks good. Anddd if anyone ever wondered what Jay's penis looks like...this is a great opportunity to find out. Hm...Justin Long makes a cameo as a gay porn star which might or might not have been one of the highlights of the film and Brandon Routh makes a cameo as his gay lover. Which I found slightly awkward cause well...he's Superman. (I mean...has the guy been in anything else?!)

Overall, Kevin Smith managed to deliver a movie that had me laughing for a good 2 hours (then again, I'm easily amused so don't blame me if the same does not occur for you), and those 2 hours definitely flew by. Unfortunately, I have to say that compared to some of his previous films, this one was a little too formulaic for me. A little too mushy in parts. And pretty predictable. Then again maybe not so predictable when the moral of story is...make a porno and all your dreams will come true. So if you're choosing between this film or those damn smiling prancing high schoolers, I would say go with this one. At the very least, you'll learn some new ways to jack yourself (or someone else) off.

P.S. I thought this appropriate given the nature and timing of this post.

"Fistful of Assholes."

So I'm sitting here in class eating Halloween shaped gummies for dinner and counting down the minutes til I can go home and stuff my face with some real food, and I figure the best way to make this class go by faster is to not pay attention in it. That's where the blogging comes in.

Mostly because the bff is one of those hipster types who takes a certain pride in listening to music that no one else has actually heard of, I find myself knowing more about the indie music scene than I ever thought possible. Unfortunately, not nearly enough to appreciate Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. Simply put: the music is good, the movie is not.

For anyone who hasn't seen the trailer (which means you probably don't watch tv given that it runs every 30 seconds), Michael Cera and Kat Dennings play titular characters Nick and Norah in a quest to locate the band Where's Fluffy's latest show as well as Norah's lost drunk friend Caroline (Ari Graynor) in Manhattan. Nick is the only straight member of a band, The Jerkoffs, and is pining for his ex-gf who recently broke up with him. Norah has an on-and-off again ex-bf and a famous daddy (but the details are kept real hush-hush til the end for some reason). They're musical soulmates of course and what follows goes something like...boy gets girl. boy loses girl. boy gets girl back. yay. (and by yay I mean yawn.)

There's a strange pride that comes with seeing your hometown in a film. Of course when your current hometown happens to be downtown Manhattan, this tends to happen a quite a bit. But there is still something satisfying about seeing so many of the hangouts I frequent being used in the film (it's like my life...if I actually had one). Unfortunately, nothing else about this film really satisfied me at all.

First off, I'm pretty sure a snail race could've moved faster than this movie. Long awkward conversations (I think it was flirting but who knows) in Nick's car made me physically uncomfortable and the semi-climactic scene when Nick and Norah finally get together almost put me to sleep (though I was jolted awake by an unexpected onscreen activity...let's just say it involves fingers). It might just be me, but cutesy romantic comedies bore me - especially when the leads are somewhat pathetic. I know we're supposed to be rooting for male and female leads in romantic comedies to get together but it's so inevitable that I generally just save myself the trouble.

The actors were business as usual which wasn't always a bad thing but not anything worth talking about. Kat Dennings as the rebellious teen? Check. Michael Cera as George Michael? Check. I assume Dennings will outgrow this role eventually...people do get older right? And it's her character that utters the classy quote that is the title to this post. (Don't ask me the relevance...I don't know. I just like it.) Apparently many believe she's got big things ahead of her. I'd have to agree. Two big things. Right in front of her (see photo). Seriously kids, when did they get so big??!! Ok moving on. Cera really plays no other character but George Michael no matter what movie he's in. (No complaints here...I want GM to be my bffl as well.) His bumbling awkwardness and gentle sarcasm DID provide some of the film's more amusing moments. Hm...I suppose the one exception would have to be Ari Graynor. Her portrayal of the drunk mess was so spot-on, she must have been drinking on set. Though how she manages to remain that messed up for the entire night without refueling is a mystery I've been trying to solve for the past few years.

Overall, I was over it before it was over. I guess if you're looking for a makeout movie (you know the kind that gives you the warm fuzzies but doesn't require much attention to get the gist of what's going on), then Nick and Norah just might do the trick. Otherwise, I'd just stick with the soundtrack.

From One Addict to Another.

"I admire addicts. In a world where everybody is waiting for some blind, random disaster or some sudden disease, the addict has the comfort of knowing what will most likely wait for him down the road. He's taken some control over his ultimate fate, and his addiction keeps the cause of his death from being a total surprise.
In a way, being an addict is very proactive.
A good addiction takes the guesswork out of death. There is such a thing as planning your getaway." - Choke (the novel).

Here are some clear indications that I am an addict. It was 10pm Monday night. I still hadn't started a paper due 2 hours ago. My roommate asked me if I wanted to go see Choke with her. If I went, not only would my paper be very late...but I would be getting about 3 hours of sleep that night attempting to finish it. Needless to say...I went.

Choke is the novel that popped my Palahniuk cherry way back in the day so it holds a special place in my heart. Of course this also meant two very important things:

1. I went into this film with high expectations (never a good thing).
2. I remember very few details from the book (totally found the above quote online) seeing that I read it nearly 7 years ago.
(So it is highly unlikely that any kind of book vs. movie comparisons will be made here since I obviously don't remember the book, but I think it's pretty much a given that the book is better seeing that a. they usually are and b. Chuck Palahniuk is a literary genius.)

For all you non-Palahniuk lovers out there (yes, these people actually exist) who don't know what Choke is about...Sam Rockwell plays the main character, Victor Mancini, a sex addict working as a historical interpreter who pays for his mother's hospital bills by playing on the sympathies of people who "save" him when he pretends to choke in restaurants. Underlying all of this is Victor's attempt to connect with his mother, deal with the lack of father figure and understand who exactly he is and what he wants out of life. Actor Clark Gregg makes his directorial debut adapting Chuck Palahniuk's novel to the silver screen.

Although there were very few laugh-out-loud moments, there were definitely times where I found myself chuckling or gasping - mostly from the sheer absurdity of the characters. It's amazing how Palahniuk has a tendency to create incredibly flawed characters that you still want to be your bff. Yet, while Palahniuk's characters tend to fall more on the side of disturbing and extremely messed up, Gregg has adapted this particular slew of misfits to be more on the lovably eccentric side. Less shock value, hence less impact? Perhaps.

This is not to say that the film wasn't worth watching. As far as films go...this one is pretty solid in combining sardonic wit, utter dirtiness and emotional self-discovery. It just wasn't enough to completely satisfy. Perhaps a result of my high expectations, but it could've been funnier, wittier, dirtier and generally more insightful. Gregg could have taken more risks with the characters. Victor's bff is a sex addict who has the tendency to masturbate to well anything and everything, yet still comes (no pun intended) across as sweet and innocent. Even Victor himself, a con-man and sex addict who refuses to reform, is generally sympathetic...the full extent of just how messed up he is is just not adequately depicted. Surprisingly, the titular action on which the film is based isn't really explored too much at all but made for great comedy. (hm...choking is funny...does anyone else find that little bit disturbing?)

The actors, as expected, were incredible. Sam Rockwell is perfect as the incredibly flawed Victor. Angelica Huston gives a hilarious and touching performance as Victor's mother suffering from some form of dementia. Kelly McDonald is... Gosford Park. Clive Owen. Hot british accent. Mmm...wait what were we talking about...? Oh right. McDonald is absolutely precious as the love interest that basically triggers Victor's emotional breakdown.

Overall, I'd give this film a go. Especially if you're a Palahniuk fan. The roomie (a bigger Palahniuk fan than I) first voiced her disappointment but relented that the film got better as it progressed. Also, I know I basically said the film wasn't hardcore enough...but still not recommended for the weak of heart. Or anyone who is generally squeamish talking about sex. Yea, you know who you are.

P.S. Stop comparing this film to Fight Club. Different cast. Different director. Different feel. Different FILM.

P.S.S. I doubt THIS will work since no one actually reads this thing but it's worth a shot. Who knows...maybe Shia LaBeouf will play you in a film 20 years from now.

Hello.

Reality bites. (And no, I'm not just referring to the 1994 film starring Indie Queen Winona Ryder.) And to remedy this issue with reality, I've chosen to spend a considerable portion of my free time outside of it.

So welcome to the confessions of a film addict.

Mostly because I enjoy any activity that allows me to procrastinate and some pushing from the bff (who will probably be the only one to actually read this thing)...I have decided to essentially take a break from life by blogging about my breaks from life.

Please keep in mind that I actually know NOTHING about movies other than the fact that I love watching them and have watched a considerably large number of them. I am not a film student nor have I ever really studied film so there probably won't be any discussions about how meaning is derived from the subtle nuances created by a certain lighting technique blah blah blah. If you just want a simple breakdown of what a movie is about and if I think you should go see it or not...then this is the place for you. Otherwise...I guess this is really just a place for me.

So feel free to disagree or agree or just leave random comments or...not. Thanks.