Two for the Price of None.

Random note: The real date of this post should be 9.14.08 as that is when I actually saw these movies and wrote about them. Didn't have a blog then though so it's going up now.

So being a broke college student, I pulled the two for the price of one movie deal. And by deal...I mean I paid for one film and snuck into another after. (Yes, I might have a little too much free time on my hands.) Well at least I'm not the only one that reaps the benefits of my deceitful ways...you lucky nonexistent readers now get two reviews for the price of well...none. Thrilled I'm sure.

Fargo, The Big Lebowski and No Country for Old Men are tough acts to follow. The Coen brothers' newest comedic farce doesn't quite make the grade, but is still far from disappointment. Dark. Hilarious. Surprising. Highly entertaining. Burn After Reading is made in typical Coens fashion though lacks the impact of the previous films (nothing beats 'the dude'). The story involves two (witless might be too strong here) rather "slow" gym trainers, Chad and Linda (Brad Pitt and Frances McDormand), who stumble upon "classified" gov't secrets and attempt to blackmail the CIA agent (John Malkovich) who owns it. Needless to say, they get in way over their heads and chaos ensues. Sounds like your basic action/espionage flick right? Wrong. What follows is a convoluted mess of mishandling and misunderstandings that even the CIA can't sort out. What exactly is resolved at the end of the film? Not sure exactly. The Coen brothers seem to be making something out of essentially...nothing. Yet, you can't help but be sucked in. Just when you think the film is getting a little slow...you're hit with something totally unexpected that makes you jump in your seat...in shock? In horror? In disgust? Who knows...who cares...it works.

What can't be denied are the characters in this film. Brad Pitt gives one of his most entertaining lighthearted performances since well...ever (anyone else notice this guy usually does his best work playing something dark and twisty?) playing the lovably clueless Chad. Frances McDormand is brilliant as Linda, Chad's self-absorbed image obsessed partner in crime. Even J.K. Simmons steals a few scenes as the CIA superior who is just as baffled as the audience as to what exactly is going on as events unfold. And of course 'Burn' would not be nearly as successful without John Malkovich's angry outbursts and the oversexed womanizing ways of George Clooney's random federal marshal character Harry Pfarrer.

So what did we learn at the end of this film? Perhaps nothing. Perhaps that Burn After Reading is still worth a trip to the theaters. And if nothing else...to always double-check the "security of your shit."

Moving on. What am I glad to have not paid for? Diane English's (um...yea I'm at a complete loss as to what else she did. Anyone?) The Women. As much as I enjoy doing and discussing womanly things, I couldn't help but be bored throughout 75% of this film.

You have your generic women characters...the single high-powered career woman sacrificing everything including a friendship to get ahead (Annette Bening), the messy unkempt stay-at-home mom who has way too many kids and is pregnant again (Debra Messing), the lesbian...'nuff said (Jada Pinkett Smith), and the angelic wife who is being cheated on and needs all the support of her friends (Meg Ryan). Sooo basically the story goes like this...husband having an affair with some hot young thing (Eva Mendes)...women rally around wronged wife for support. Friend betrays friend. Drama. Tears. Wife comes back stronger/better than before and discovers herself in the process. Everyone makes up in the end. Oops...did I give too much away? Or is that not the exact predictable plot of almost every chick flick? Then again, this is a remake of a 1939 film of the same name. I think we might be running low on original ideas people. Just sayin'.

It is ironic that a theme of the film seems to be the over emphasis society places on women to look and be perfect when all the actresses in the film look like they've gone under the knife more than a few times. Meg Ryan and Annette Bening (who I love and adore but come on...) don't even look real anymore. At least we got a cameo by a very realistic looking Carrie Fisher. Barely recognizable actually. We've definitely come a long way since the gold-bikini wearing Princess Leia days.
VS.

And English was NOT kidding around with the title. Absolutely NO men appear in this film. Even all the extras on set were women. I'm down with the girl power and all but I'm not gonna lie...some male eye candy might have kept me a little more captivated.

Ok so not to be a total Debbie Downer, I have to admit there were a few brief moments when I found myself smiling. Mostly when Debra Messing's character is giving birth...(I know it doesn't sound it, but that part was actually funny) and when Mrs. Will Smith was getting all lesbian (or was that just...awkward chuckling?). And to be fair...'Burn' might have been a tough act to follow.

So yes, if you're looking for some quality bonding time with the girlfriends that doesn't involve talking to each other...or just have some time to kill and happened to already be in the theater having just watched a different movie...then by all means...I say go for it. Otherwise...you might or might not have some better things to do with your life.