The Day I Wasted 2 Hours Watching This Film.

The original plan was to see The Reader but since it's only showing in 2 theaters in ALL of Manhattan, it was sold out and since I was already at the theaters and too lazy to walk back home I decided to see the movie with the next closest time which happened to be The Day the Earth Stood Still. I might or might not have been better off walking home.

I haven't seen the 1951 original, but I've heard really great things. Unfortunately, TDTESS version 2008 is nothing worth talking about. Alien Klaatu (Keanu Reeves) and his indestructible alien robot Gort come to Earth (to protect it from being destroyed by us humans) where Klaatu meets and befriends Dr. Helen Benson (Jennifer Connelly) and her stepson (Jaden Smith).

To its credit, the special effects and graphics in this film were amazing, which is pretty much what drew me to the film in the first place. Watching trucks, buildings and even Giant Stadium get ripped apart was way more fun than I thought it was going to be.

Unfortunately the dialogue was completely lame. Which is kind of what I expected given that they couldn't even find 10 seconds of decent dialogue in the film to put into the trailer. "If the Earth dies, you die...if you die, the Earth survives." Um right. The film was like the battle of the cliches. Who can say the most generic, sappy lines in 2 hours?! Also, Klaatu is supposed to be the humanity of Benson and her kid is what supposedly changes his mind about destroying the planet at the end, but I didn't see progression of that occurring at all. I'm still puzzled as to exactly what profound activities Benson and her kid did to save Earth. It was just suddenly..."oh I get it now. You humans are cool." And I'm left having no idea how that even happened.

I suppose this was the perfect role for Keanu Reeves who has pretty much played the expressionless drone in every role since Bill and Ted. Nothing I can really say about Jennifer Connelly either since her part pretty much just consisted of a lot of frightened running around and giving us the wide-eyed "wtf is going on??" eyes every 30 seconds or so. Always great eye candy though. Jaden Smith was adorable but so so annoying. I blame movies like this for stunting my maternal extincts (and also the fact that I'm not yet 22). Children who play huge brats in movies make me just not want to have kids ever.

Ultimately, I think this movie might have been awesome if it was just shrunk down to 30 mins of the craziest visual effect moments and scored to some great music minus all dialogue. Though what I just described pretty much just sounds like a long music video. Oh well.

Feel like a 'Millionaire.'

Director Danny Boyle is entirely unpredictable. He's done the disturbing, horrific and downright scary with Trainspotting, 28 Days Later and Sunshine. He's gone the romantic dramedy route with A Life Less Ordinary. And now he seems to be tapping into some warm fuzzies with heartwarm-ers like Millions and Slumdog Millionaire, and the latter might be the year's ultimate feel-good film.

Boyle's latest film centers around an Indian teen from the slums (aka slumdog), Jamal Malik (Dev Patel), who becomes a contestant on the Hindi version of "Who Wants to be A Millionaire?" He is one question away from winning the 20 million rupee grand prize when he is arrested under suspicion of cheating. In an attempt to clear his name, Malik recounts the experiences in his life that explain why he knows the answers to all the questions. With each flashback, his true intention for going on the show is revealed...to find the love of his life.

So they're all different genres, but one thing that all Danny Boyle films share are their graphic and brutally honest images (it's possible that the baby scene in Trainspotting still haunts my dreams). Slumdog Millionaire is no exception. Although a simple love story at its core, 'Slumdog' is a vivid trip through the heart of "real" India. There is no glorifying the poverty, misery and disgustingly downtrodden conditions of the slums where Malik and his older brother, Salim, grow up. All complaints I have ever had about my childhood seemed...seem irrelevant. I have never felt so lucky in my life just sitting in a movie theater...it suddenly seemed like heaven compared to what I was viewing onscreen.

What moved me was that this isn't just a story about two people who are kept apart by a few little mishaps and misunderstandings. These are two people kept apart for over a decade by obstacles presented by a society that allows few people to ever feel safe and secure...by a neglected and rundown country and the manipulative, cruel and greedy people who control it. What they have to overcome to just find each other is what makes the story so incredible.

I know Bollywood cranks out more films than any other industry in the world, but I still don't know very many Indian actors. I think I may need to start. Of course it might also help to be able to pronounce some of these names. Ayush Mahesh Khedekar and Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail who play Jamal and Salim Malik as little kids, respectively, were brilliant and totally adorable. Dev Patel plays the older Jamal on "Who Wants to be A Millionaire" and makes the perfect protagonist and underdog. He is slightly awkward but naive, sweet and witty. Jamal's love interest, Latika, is played by Indian model Freida Pinto who is absolutely gorgeous, but actually doesn't have that large of a part in the film.

Basically 'Slumdog' epitomizes the reason why I love going to the movies. You know that saying about how the journey is more important than the destination? Nothing could be more true when viewing this film. Although centered around "Who Wants to be A Millionaire," I really could have cared less at the end whether or not Malik correctly answered the 20 million rupee question. I know there are people out there who gag upon hearing this is a love story (I would normally be one of them), but it's a love story that successfully weaves in themes of family, trust, betrayal, redemption, destiny, courage and spirit. Even if you overlook all the potential cheesy moments of the film, you can't overlook the horrific beauty (oxymoron?) of a landscape depicted with such intensity and attention to detail without being patronizing. It's a world that we see too infrequently. Not to mention, the film features a great soundtrack (I'm a big MIA fan).

If you don't come out of this film feeling enthralled or inspired or uplifted or some combination of all these emotions, then what can I say? You have a cold, hard rock for a heart.